These 5 points are directed to preschool teachers but will work for all adults including biological and foster parents, grandparents, counselors, coaches, and therapists.
Relational
Cues
Relational
Cues were depicted in the “WARM-STAR Points” (Decker, 2008) and included
teacher qualities such as warmth, sensitive, touch, attunement, and
responsiveness. This was developed based on Bowlby’s (1988) attachment
theory.
Warm-STAR
Points
Warmth. Students are able to
read adults very well. They can tell when an adult is angry, stressed,
frustrated, or irritable. They can also tell when an adult is caring, loving,
kind, and gentle. Warmth is the way an adult shows their affection to the
student. It can be seen through the teacher’s facial expressions, smile, eyes,
body language, and calm tone of voice.
Sensitive. Awareness of the “big
picture.” If a student is crying, the teacher seeks to understand why the
student could be frustrated. It is important to wonder about the student’s
sleep patterns, nutritional plan, problems in school, sibling rivalry, family
problems, or grieving for their lost pet. It is important for the teacher to
not take the problem personally, to take a step back, and think calmly and
rationally.
Touch. There are multiple ways
to touch such as tickling, poking, grabbing, and pushing. Touch can be
aggressive and stern. For this approach, touch is loving and empowering. A slight touch on the shoulder or a soft hand on the back instils safety and security.
Attunement. This means tuning in to
the feelings of the student. When some students get excited, they fall to the
floor, revert to baby talk, and throw toys. Attuning into the student means
taking the time to understand their feelings. An example is tuning into a radio. When the station is not tuned in, there is a lot static. The station is not properly connecting to the source. When the station is properly set, the music is clear. Children are very similar. If the adult is unable to meet the child at their level, they will hear lots of static. When the adult appropriately tunes into the child and their needs, the approach is clear and the static goes away. This is when learning happens.
Responsiveness. Once there is a sense of
what emotional feeling the student is displaying, the teacher responds with
appropriate language to support the feeling. This is very important because
students do not have language for their feelings. It must be learned. As the
teacher labels the feeling, the student is able to learn what the feeling is.
When expressed consistently, the student learns self-awareness and is able to
recognize when they are feeling sad, mad, or happy.